Knock With Your Elbows

The other day, I was reading an article about sayings that we inherited from our parents and grandparents. Most were short. Some were funny. A few made little sense to us at the time, but as we got older, they made more sense. Yet tucked inside many of them was a simple blueprint for how to live alongside other people with respect and kindness. I was discussing this with some of my buds, and we all could remember things that were passed down regarding good manners (“don’t talk with your mouth full!”). One of my friends was in scouting, and his troop was always instructed to not only “be prepared” but to always “leave things better than you found them”. He described how, at the end of a camping weekend, all the boys would split and stack new firewood, clean the firepits, and slowly walk the camp area, picking up the smallest pieces of paper, to be sure the site was clean and ready for the next visitors. One of the sayings I came across was “knock with your elbows”, a reminder to bring something along for the host. I like this! So, here is a list of sayings I can remember, and some I found online – I’m hoping you may have some to share (skowalski@khtheating.com). Special thanks to Google. Enjoy!

Older generations often compressed life lessons into memorable one-liners. They were practical, easy to remember, and repeated often enough to become habits.

“Knock with your elbows.” – The meaning was understood without much explanation. If you were going to someone’s home for dinner, a party, or even just a visit, your hands should be full. A pie. A bottle of wine. Cookies. A casserole. Flowers. Something small for the host. If your elbows were the only thing free to knock with, then you had arrived properly prepared. It was not really about the food or the gift. It was about respect. The saying reflected an older understanding that hospitality should never be taken for granted. Someone cleaned the house. Someone prepared the meal. Someone made room at the table. Bringing something was a quiet way of saying: “I appreciate the effort you made for me and welcome your company.” For many families, this was simply how people behaved. Nobody announced it. And perhaps that is why the phrase still feels so warm today.

“Always write a thank-you note.” – Long before text messages and instant replies, a handwritten note mattered. It told someone that their gift, hospitality, or help was worth your time and attention. The note itself was often less important than the act of gratitude behind it. I try really hard to remember and keep a stack of cards handy when the need arises.

“If you borrow it, return it better than you found it.” – Borrow a car? Fill the gas tank. Borrow a tool? Clean it before returning it. Borrow a home for the weekend? Leave groceries behind. This simple idea reinforced stewardship and respect for another person’s property. It taught responsibility without lectures. The second half reflects on my earlier comment regarding “better than you found it.”

“Be the first to help stack chairs.” – Every church supper, graduation party, or neighborhood picnic had a few people quietly cleaning up afterward. Older generations noticed who disappeared when the work began, and who stayed. Helping with the clean-up was seen as a mark of character. At our monthly Men’s Club in town, after the meal and the featured speaker, the meeting ends. Without asking, about a dozen or so get up and start the clean-up…clear tables, wipe tabletops, fold and store chairs and tables, and carry items to the kitchen for washing. It’s usually the past vice presidents leading the effort, as they remember what it’s like to run the meetings and manage all the food. Young guys jump in, and we note they are candidates for leadership positions in the future.

“Company is coming.” – I come from a big family. For us growing up, those three words triggered immediate action, as there is no way Mom could have done it all herself. Vacuuming started. Good dishes appeared. Towels were changed. Desserts were prepared. But beneath the bustle was another lesson: people matter enough to prepare for them. Hospitality is considered a form of generosity.

Small acts, repeated over decades, helped create trust and warmth. People still deeply value thoughtfulness.

“Hold the door.”
“Stand when someone enters the room.”
“Offer your seat.”
“Look people in the eye when talking.”
“Mind your manners.”

“Firmly shake someone’s hand.”
“Walk your guest to the door.”

And some other words I can still hear from when I was growing up:

“If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

“Many hands make light work.”

“Never let someone eat alone.”

“Don’t stay where you’re not welcome.”

“A handshake means something.”

“Be on time.”

“Show up when it matters.”

Fun One: One of my golf buddies said his grandfather would comment when he showed up on time – his saying was: “You’re early of late. You used to be behind before, and now you’re first at last.” How fun is that!!

My personal favorite: We were raised to work hard – then play equally hard! This equates to living life with passion! Hope you can do the same.